I Dreamed a Dream

“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further.

There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” ― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

 

 

 

March 10th, 2007 - The Broadhurst Theatre in NYC was when Gaye took me to see Les Miserables for the first time. We had just been given the wonderful news that her Cancer was in remission. Too celebrate, we traveled to Broadway to see our good friend, Norm Lewis, perform as Javert. To be perfectly honest, I had a hard time keeping my eyes open that night during the third act. For me at that time, a 3 hour musical play was not at the top of my list of events to scratch off the bucket list. For Gaye, it was a magical and emotional event. Gaye must have wiped away her tears no less than a half a dozen times during the course of the play. For those not familiar with the story, Les Mis examines the raw nature Grief, Love, Loss and Redemption. Although I did not fully appreciate the emotional impact of the play at that time, I was blessed to hold the hand of a love that certainly did.

Gaye backstage wearing Javert's Hat

Yesterday, I skipped out of work to catch a matinee of the new Les Mis movie. Ever since I seen the trailers, I have been anxious to see the movie. It has been five and half years since that magical night in NYC and almost 4 and a half years without Gaye at my side.  It's kind of funny what Death, Grief and Loss will do to your emotional psyche and being. I knew it was going to be an emotional river of feelings for me. I made the conscious decision to go alone. (I have discovered I hide my feelings much too much with others around me.) Once the movie began, I could not prepare for the emotional impact it had on my soul.  Yes, I cried. I cried profusely.  An Ocean of Loss, what could have been... what should have been... Taking in both Fantine's and Eponine's fate, all I could think about was the loss of Gaye and just how cruel this life can be.. "Life has killed the dream I dream....."

Perhaps, similar feelings that Gaye was going through, back at the Broadhurst Theatre in 2007. 

I owe Gaye everything That I have become over the last 11 years when I was kissed by God when we met. It has been a struggle but I am proud of the man I have become... All because of Gaye. (Gaye still teaching me today)

As Sean Valjean articulates, "Those who do not weep, do not see"

I am blessed with the best memories any soul can have....

...and I thank God everyday!!!