Farewell, My Love.....

August 22, 2008

 

4 years.....

1461 days.....

35,064 hours...

21,038,400 minutes...

1,262,304,000 Heart Beats...

 

No matter how I break it down....

Years, Days, Hours, Minutes, Heart Beats,

However Large, however infinitesimal the number,

Aptly describes Gaye's Absence in my world.

 

It seems impossible that 4 years have passed -

Yet here I am.....

 

If I was honest with myself and Gaye was grading my last 4 years,

I think she would give me an "F".

(It would be an A or an F in Gaye's grade scale of life)

 

One of Gaye's intimate fears was that I would not be able to

 Let go, Love again and embrace Life

(I guess Guilty as charged)

 

I just have such a hard time loosening my reign on Gaye.

We had such a magical life planned.

(and then God said "HA")

 

Here is my pledge in honor of Gaye's 4th celestial Birthday.

I am letting Go.....

It is time for me to move on...

Knowing Gaye will always be the best parts of my DNA;

It is time to let go of the pain...

let go of the regret...

let go of the guilt...

 

Time to embrace and love life once again....

 

Perhaps the heavens will allow lightning to strike twice....

(I have a great connection up there)

 

Farewell, My Love....

I know she is happy to hear me say that.

Deacon at Winship Cancer Institute this week. I have been loving, kissing and hugging him so much recently, his red coat is rubbing off.

 



“God has strewn our paths with wonders and we certainly should not go through Life with our eyes shut.”

I took this shot on the second to last day in Ireland



“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
call to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
― Mary Oliver

The healing elixer of Nature;

All around, one sees

Hope, Love and Faith

Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
― Brian Jacques, Taggerung

Amen.....