I have a Place of Peace within myself. I can find it.

Where?

Where has it Gone, 

that light, that spark,

that love that looked into mine?

What has it to do with that cold clay?

It's here, 

here,

here,

here in my heart.

She is in me,

around me.

Nothing in that clay

-Anzia Yezierska-

The change is astonishing when breath and life depart 

and all there is left are the cremains.

I look at this dust

it is loved, it is revered.

But it is only particles.

No Physical presence that Gaye ever existed.

Where has she gone?

Interpretations differ according to belief and experience.

An epic war I pray endlessly to comprehend.

There is one certainty, I know without a Doubt.

Gaye lives on through the things she has taught me

and in ways that has profound impact in my life.

So, in the weeks, months, years that lie ahead for me

in this Less Gaye Physical World,

I will feel, I will experience, I will love. 

I will encounter Life and think:

"I wonder. Yes maybe that's a part of Gaye living in me."

Perhaps, that is part of the answer....

I will take the Risk of Believing and see where it leads me

"Shall we live in Mystery and yet conduct ourselves

as though everything were known"

- Christopher Fry -

In Grief and Loss, everything has significance.

We look and strive for meaning in what appears to be

random events and wonder what is going on.

In death, nothing makes sense

so we look for meaning anywhere and everywhere

A special song is played at the perfect time.

The Sun breaks through when a loving thought is on Gaye.
A light flickers on Gaye's favorite artwork.

Deacon comes running into my arms at a low point.
Gaye's Chimes ring out with no noticeable wind.

I hear words of faith and encouragement
when I need it most.

Are these events all just coincidences?
Can it be possible that in
the Mysteries of Creation,

the Powers of God,
the Energies that move this Physical World

- Even our Departed Loved One-

are looking out for us?

God I love to think so.

And when I read similar stories about others having the same
Experiences, Senses and Feelings,
My skin tingles - My heart fills with

Hope, Love and Faith.

Yes, it might be so....

There is always room for doubt.

There is also room for Faith and Hope,

That is the Mystery of life.....

Deacon getting Splashed on in Asheville