"When the Heart weeps for what it has lost, the Spirit laughs for what it has found."

I love that old saying.....

The weather here in Atlanta is so unpredictable these days. 90 degrees one day - two days later, temps dive down into the 60's.  One day, not a cloud in the sky - the next -a fierce storm can rip through our beloved area creating unforeseen damage.

My passage of separation from Gaye is very much like the fickle weather. One day I want to take my feelings and love to a new place, to separate from the old mournful self and graduate into someone that I strive to be. The next day, I just want to retreat and cling to what I know and have experienced.

Sue Monk Kidd says we have within us a deep longing to grow and become a new creature, but we possess an equally strong compulsion to remain the same - to burrow down in our safe, secure places.

An epic battle of light (Growth) vs. Dark (What we know).

I am in that fight -  I am holding on to the self I know. A desperate clinging rises up in me. We make a valiant attempt to "save" our old life.  In the words of Daniel Day Williams; "We fear it is all we have.  Even its suffering are familiar and we clutch them because their very familiarity is comforting...."

Thinking about my state: What is behind my clinging? Am I trying to save my old self? Do I fear the future because I don't know what might emerge? Am I afraid to change?

Looking up the word clinging, I discovered that it comes from the Anglo-Saxon word clingan, which means "shrink." Sure enough, an undeniable connection exists between shrinking and clinging. From a spiritual perspective, clinging creates a shrinking within the soul, a shrinking of possibility and growth.

To cling to "How it was" can be overpowering.

The courage to letting go is so damn hard but I know that is what I must do.

I know: 

Nothing Stays the same....

We must change forms.....

We must Grow....

We must imagine and dream the possibilities....
We must love what we had but not cling to it....

We must let go and leave the old behind....
We must hand ourselves over to God and have faith.......

With God's Grace,  I pray everyday for that courage....