Words to Cling to......

Northside Methodist Church

Yesterday, I attended the service at Northside Methodist Church for the second time in the last 45 days. Gaye and I were married here so it holds a a unique and very special place in my heart. Dr. Gil Watson, who married us, was on vacation so the Church had an ole friend provide the sermon, Rev. Bill Floyd. From what I undertsand , Rev. Floyd has a tremendous reputation, so I was looking forward to hearing his sermon. I was not disappointed. Rev. Floyd must be in his eighties - in other words,  he has seen a great deal in his christian walk and life. Towards the end of his simply wonderful and hopeful message, he stated "I have seen many of my friends, fellow congregation members and family put in a box. (He is referring to Dieing).  "At my stage in life, I am more sure than I have ever been, that people of God, will never see their friends and family for the last time"

A blessed and divine affirmation that comforts this weary soul!

A Mighty Amen......

help me.

show me that

I can love with

out

fears, frustrations,

falsehoods, hesitations

and

regret

Show me the

face of god

once again.

can lightning strike twice?
can my life roll another 7?
can luck be a lady again?

why can't it be?

I have to

hope

that

something

extraordinary

is

possibile.

A night of Drinking.

Flirting

Like ole times

Superficial

to the

Core

Attempting

to

Get

on

with

my

"Life"

The forgetting

is difficult.

The remembering,

Worse.

 (Our Honeymoon in Tuscany)

Life with Gaye

The remembering, Worse.

True Love Clarifies and never dissipates.

Love is the Bridge.

Love will be my savior.

Gaye showed me the way.

I thank God Every Day.

Growing

and

through

all the tears

and the sadness

and the

pain

come the

one thought

that can

make

me internally

smile again:

I

have

loved
(Gaye)

Words of Encouragement and Hope

Part of a letter Given to Gaye on Ash Wednesday, February 25th 1998.
We have no reason to mistrust our world.  If it has terrors, they are our terrors, if it has abysses, these abysses belong to us. If there are griefs, we must try to love them... Don't observe yourself too closely.  Don't be too quick to draw conclusions from what happens to you; simply let it happen. What now appears to us as the most alien, will become our most intimate and trusted experience...
 Why do you want to shut out of your life any uneasiness, any misery, since after all, you don't know what work these conditions are doing inside you? Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.
So you mustn't be frightened if a sadness rises up in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen.  You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall.                 -- Rainer Maria Rilke

In that same letter:
Carl Jung used to really astonish people socially when he'd respond to the fact that they were were going through something hard or painful, something we'd consider "bad". He would get excited and say "Oh Good, something is really happening to you, something is emerging. That's wonderful!"

I thank God and Gaye for finding this letter today!

Throwing the Hope Switch ON

                          Sunrise at Haleakala National Park, HI

                                       5-15-06

Dear Tripp,

This is the time to celebrate our life together;
to remember the joys we've shared and the

memories we've created.  There are so many joys

and memories and moments that always

bring a smile to my face and happiness to my heart!

The night we first met; the first time you seduced

me (haha); our many travels together...

Hawaii (Morning sunrise on Haleakala),

NYC, Prague and our engagement, Paris,

Tuscany, Atlantis, Cabo

- so many - and hopefully more to come;

our time with friends and family and Deacon.

But, just as joyful to me are the moments, when it's
just us doing nothing special;
just living...breathing together.

                                 I love you!
                                 Happy #2!
                                         Gaye

Gaye wrote this letter to me just one month
before she was diagnosed... We were so filled
with Love and Hope and our endless possibilities...
(Another tip from Tripp - never...ever...never
take anything for granted,  You can never say
"I Love you" too much, because you never
know when you won't be able to say it anymore)

Over the last couple years, Hope has seemed
a distant friend to me...I have discovered that
there is no substitute for hope.
Joy and laughter may help it but they
cannot replace it. Life is so difficult and I
would say impossible to endure without it. 
The question for me, How do I sustain hope
during this chaotic disjuncture of the Universe?
 How can I build hope when I feel so low,
and how can I find it when it has disappeared?

I wish I had the answer.

What I can tell myself:
The future is uncertain,
which means that it can go in more than one direction.
Is it possible for things to turn out better than I
can imagine? We humans are creatures of imagination.
We can envision the worse at our low point, but then again,
on a good day, I can imagine that this journey has prepared me
for something truly special.
I do dream and pray that HOPE will find a
loving home once again in my heart and soul.
I  may not be sure how or when I'll will get it back,
(Patience has never been my virtue)
but my heart and faith tells me if I remain receptive
to that possibility, I can then at least hope to hope,
and that will get me through another day
in this less Gaye World.

I want to believe that for every love lost,
God gives you more love to share.


I am Keeping my Hope switch ON,

                                                    Gaye and I at Sunrise on Haleakala