Crusade to Understand (Part 2)

Just a small picture of the full painting (I pray life is like that)

When I lay my questions before God, I get no answer.

But rather a special sort of No answer.

It is not the locked door

It is more like a silent, certainty

not uncompassionate, gaze.

As though He shook His Head not in refusal

but in waiving the question.

Like,

"Peace, child: you don't understand."

-C.S. Lewis

Listening to the sermon at my church yesterday,

Dr Watson expressed that sadness comes from trying to

understand life on our terms and not God's.

As I mentioned before, sometimes our greatest hope

is that we don't understand. With my sadness,
 At times I feel the futility of life and the
apparent finality of Death. It can simply be overwhelming.

A small comfort comes to me in that my understanding is limited.

Perhaps I stand too close?

Gaye and I had planned two trips to Rome but
Cancer would not release it's grip.

She was extremely excited to show me the Sistine Chapel.

Gaye had been twice before but never with a lover.
She simply wanted to hold my hand as we gazed up
at Michelangelo's painting.
(Ohh, the simple things in life I dearly miss)

To fully view the magnificent painting of

"The Creation of Adam" in the Sistine Chapel,

one must step far back at a great distance to

capture the full majestic beauty of this genius

Perhaps, in relation to life

I need to take a step back.
Hopefully, I am only looking at the

two fingertips touching and not the full canvas?

A very small piece of the whole picture that God has created.

Having no alternative...My greatest hope is that I don't understand.