Ramblings during a Meltdown....

Gaye in Vienna

Real grief is not healed by time... If time does anything,

it deepens my grief.  The longer I live, the more fully

I become aware of who she was for me, and the more

intimately I experience what her love meant for me.

Real, deep love is, as you know, very unobtrusive,

seemingly easy and obvious, and so present that we

take it for granted. Therefore, it is often only

in retrospect - or - better, in memory -

that we fully realize its power and depth.

Yes, indeed, LOVE often makes

itself visible in PAIN.

- Henri Nouman

As I write this, I am feeling the deep depths of despair and sadness.

Twenty-two plus months without.

Gaye's absence has magnified the Love and Life we had.
-Loss-

That word takes on a whole new meaning these days

New insights have awakened,

New appreciations have developed,

New yearnings have materialized,

All within me

in this less Gaye world (LGW)
Gaye's death has forced me to grow;
God, I wish that she could
see my growth that
has resulted from her death

 As the writer describes it,

"Yes, indeed LOVE often makes itself visible in PAIN" 

A bittersweet education that I can't share

with my best friend.
That is what destroys me to no end.

I can't share and experience it with Gaye.

God, I hate Grief.....

I will never understand why Gaye had to die and I had to live.

There is no reason for it, I guess.

Death is just Death,

no one understands it.

Once upon a time,

I was put on this earth to find and fall in love with Gaye.

The fairy tale came true.

How Privileged and Blessed was I .....

I still pray for the Happily ever after

You better be putting Gaye to good use up there.....