That was the reply to a good friend who asked what I was doing tonight.
Today would have been our 6th Wedding Anniversary,
The 2nd Anniversary in the LGW (Less Gaye World)
As Frank Sinatra once said
"I'm for whatever gets you through the night."
We all have ways to dealing with pain. I fully understand how one can get completely and totally engulfed by sorrow and sadness. "The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. Every other wound we seek to heal, every other affliction to forget; but this wound we consider it a duty to keep open; this affliction we cherish and brood over in solitude.".
- Washington Irving
I find it extremely difficult to let sorrow go. This sorrow and sadness is my connection to Gaye. In my mind, sorrow allows me to hold on and keep Gaye close. I dare not lose that bond.
I had two extremely vivid dreams this past week. In both situations, Gaye was still alive. I was getting ready to board a plane to Europe for a very long trip from which I would not return. As I was being told to board the plane, I discovered that I did not have any luggage or bags or money for that matter, On top of that, Gaye was no where to be found. I didn't know where she was. Fear set in and I began to panic not knowing what to do. Should I stay and look for Gaye or go ahead and get on the plane and perhaps leave Gaye behind? Just before total and utter paralalization from fear, I was given a phone with someone on the other end. Being in total panic mode not knowing what to do and having great fear that I would be in complete isolation from Gaye if I made the wrong decision, The woman on the phone, chuckled and calmly responded that Gaye was waiting to join up with me at my next destination. "Now go ahead and get on that plane, there is nothing to worry about. Everything is going be OK!."
Attempting to understand and find reason, I interpreted the dream as someone telling me to just let go of my sorrow and fears, stop worrying about living a life in a LGW.
Everything is going to be OK.
It is OK to let go of the sorrow
It is OK to let go of the sadness
It is OK to let go of my fears
It is time to allow for Happiness and enjoy Life
"Everything is going to be OK"
As I experience my 2nd Wedding Anniversary in the LGW,
I am making a New Wedding Vow:
To do my best to appreciate life and get to know my ole friend Happiness Once Again.
Happy Anniversary Baby! (I will join up with you at the next destination.)
No question, I still will experience one of the above three things tonight. I will let you you guess which one.
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