Easter is behind me. Thank God! It was a tough weekend. Listening to several sermons over the last several days, I not only prayed for the usual Strength and Hope but I asked God for an unusual request. During the season of Grief, one wants so badly to see a sign that can lift one's heart and fuel the faith that clings so delicately and fragile during the chaos and sadness. I simply asked God for a sign to help me with my faith in him. For if I know, if God exists, then I know, my Angel Gaye, is in a place that is beyond Imagination. For some reason, beyond my explanation, today was a very emotional day for me. I cried several times (at home, at the Gym, even walking Deacon around the block) I did not feel much better this evening as I was preparing for bed. As I was placing a magazine on my bed stand, I came across the below poem a recent friend gave me many months ago when we met at lunch. The poem was crammed under a big pile of numerous books and magazines. Well today at lunch, I finally got around to clearing my ever growing mountain of literature. So it was this evening, as I was placing a new magazine next to my bed, did I see this piece of paper turned down with the below poem. As I read, the poem seemed to speak to me. But, there seemed to be something extra special about this poem. As I finished reading the emotional prose, I noticed the date on the piece of paper was 4/13/00 at 9:31pm. The date my friend received this poem from another friend. This piece of paper had been on my bed stand for over four months - Yet the day and night I happen to read it, which happened to be a very tough day for me - was 4/13/09 at 9:52pm. I know, I know, it is only a coincidence, but to me it was very meaningful and impactful. I like to believe with every fiber of my being and soul that it was a sign, perhaps from God or Gaye to keep heart and to keep the faith. We do what we can to move forward. I will take whatever I can get these days.....
- If Tomorrow Starts without Me -
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss some tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you.
"Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day is the same way,
There's no longing for the past.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart "
- Author Unknown -
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