I received a letter from my Therapist last week. It was a beautiful spring morning and she was thinking of Gaye, Deacon and I. In the letter she mentioned that she had read my latest blog entry and the following passage from James E. Miller came to mind:

I have known the blessing of sharing time with another,
One whom I have LOVED deeply.
I have been enriched by their life,
and I have felt diminished by their death.

I have lived it all:
The laughter and the tears,
the singing and the sighing,
the darkness and the light.
I have known how the world can change before your eyes
when you lose the one you love so much.
I have felt lonely and alone

Like so many others, I have been acquainted with grief.
Like so many others, I have been taught the mysterious
lessons of mourning
I have learned that as I let go, something will always remain,
that as I bid farewell, someone will always abide.
I have learned that love does not end

- Not even with Death -

It continues to express itself in ways even new

When I am most alone, the spirit of God accompanies me,

When I am most afraid, the Promise of God comforts me,

When I am most fragile, the Hands of God upholds me.

I see that however much I did not wish for this loss,

my time of losing can also be a time of gaining.

For I can come to appreciate life as I never have before.

I can experience and cherish growth as I never have before.

I can share in ways that might not otherwise be possible.

I am learning to see the ways in which I have been so blessed

by the God who walked me through grief of winter,

who accompanies me into the grace of summer's new life.

From the book

-Seasons of Grief and Healing-

Thank you Beth for your Thoughts and Wonderful letter.

Some People never have that much to Lose

I have to remind myself of how much I had been given. The Gift of Gaye was such a beautiful and special blessing. Every Day, I need to thank God that he guided Gelzer Loyall Sims III to the doorstep of Gaye Elizabeth Gwinn. Gaye's spirit was an incredible elixir and highly intoxicating . She had that quiet confidence and sparkle in her eye that made her so unique and different than anyone I have ever met. A woman with her Beauty and Credentials (MBA from Stanford) are not supposed to be that humble, fun, gracious, and caring. She certainly broke all the rules. After our chance encounter, we both knew our hearts would never be apart or alone again.

What keeps Grief and Sorrow an ever present friend is the realization that Gaye and I will not achieve our dreams together in this life. We had so many places to go.... Things to do..... More love to share.....

Without Gaye, I feel I have lost so much.
But, then again, with Gaye, I have also loved so great!!!!
I have been blessed to have Gaye's great LOVE.
Only a few in this world has encountered this truly unique and intoxicating Gift!
Only a few have experienced her LOVE
I have been so blessed to have received that Gift.
I am aware of how much I had been Given.

Her Gift Comforts me.
Even in my pain, I hold close to my heart the Gift of Gaye's life and LOVE.